It has become as if my every word has turned on me. Constantly corrected for truths that come out ‘wrong’, suggestions I apparently should never speak, and roles given to me I apparently should never have assumed. This hyperawareness of my counterparts never existed prior to our current state. I’d find it easier before to forgive their shortcomings towards me freely, but for pointing out my shortcomings that are in fact nothing more than truths that they prefer unspoken became a new trial in itself. Elders inscribe lessons into my mind, as if the ultimate wisdom only relies on and relays through them.

And only did such a phenomenon occur when I attempted to reopen my heart and become soft again.









All of a sudden, everything I do becomes welcoming to scrutiny, backlash, and correction, not because it is in great need, or the affect is even apparent, but because my receptivity is more passive now than it has ever been.